


a fight for the heart

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Light Angst, M/M, POV Outsider, Self-Destruction, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: Maria couldn't save Michael Guerin. He didn't want her to and she couldn't kill herself trying to so she didn't. But where she failed, maybe Alex can succeed. If watching Michael self destruct doesn't kill him first.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 160





	a fight for the heart

Maria tried. She really did. But she couldn’t destroy herself on the altar of someone who didn’t want her help. Michael Guerin was a hurricane of self destruction in the midst of the desert and the only thing Maria could do was try and stay of his path.

Maria gave their fledgeling attempt at a relationship six weeks before she couldn’t take it anymore. Clearly something had happened in Michael’s life just before they got together but he refused to talk about it, preferring to drown his sorrows in shameless flirting right in front of her, too much alcohol, and an endless stream of bar fights. And since she cared about it, could maybe love him, but there was only so much of herself she could give, only so much she could do.

The first two days were great, they sat and talked and laughed, Michael revealed his hidden talent for the guitar and played her her favorite songs. It was nice. Really nice. 

After that, though, he swan dived off of the deep end. Over the course of a week he went from being the relatively social drunk, the friendly flirty guy who charms his way out of trouble, the man with a shoulder for her to lean on, to a man itching for a fight with every breath. If he couldn’t get it from the assholes at the bar, he picked at Maria until she walked away. His friendly flirts turned serious right in front of her, his eyes flicking to her to see if she was watching as he crowded up behind a woman shooting pool under the guise of helping her with her form. Maria spent a few weeks making sure every night he wasn’t in the drunk tank he got to a bed, either his or her own. She tried to make sure he ate actual food, drank water, showed up at work.

He resisted her at every turn until she finally called up Isobel Evans. Isobel showed up for two days before giving up. Maria couldn’t blame her, if she was being honest. Isobel’s brother and husband had just both disappeared into thin air and she looked almost fragile when Maria saw her around town, like she was one blow from shattering. When Maria saw her with Michael, she was afraid that Michael would be that final blow and she could understand Isobel trying to protect herself from that, even if it meant leaving Michael to his own mess. 

The final straw came the night Michael flirted with a woman, even getting into a fight with the woman’s boyfriend, and then stared her down as he walked out the front door with his arm around her. He had his mouth close to the woman’s ear, his lips and tongue brushing it as he whispered to her and Maria decided then and there that she was done. 

She had enough going on in her life between her mom’s health, helping Liz deal with Max’s disappearance, her shattered relationship with Alex, and seeing Rosa’s ghost around town, that she just could not break herself any more to help Michael. There was only so much of her left. 

So she waved goodbye to Michael. Literally. 

His eyes darkened when he caught the motion and she knew he’d gotten the message when he turned away and left without a backwards glance. 

Didn’t stop him from coming back the next night though. Or the one after that.

Maria was a little amazed to realize he had actually been holding back before. Now, if there was one single night where he didn’t escape out to the back alley for a hook up or end up in the drunk tank, Maria silently called it a win. 

She didn’t have many wins.

About two weeks after she called it quits, Alex started making an appearance. Maria hadn’t really seen him since she took up with Michael and he definitely hadn’t been to the Wild Pony but there he was, perched on a stool at her bar, his eyes fixed on the mirror behind her as he watched Michael suck on some woman’s neck by the pool tables. 

“Hey,” she greeted softly as she wandered over to hand him a new beer.

“Hey,” he glanced at her quickly, his lips turning up in an attempt at a smile, before looking back at the mirror.

Maria looked out at the scene behind him. “He does this every night.”

“So I’ve heard.” He took the new bottle from her and handed over his empty.

“You meeting someone?” She asked as the silence stretched to awkwardness.

“No.”

Maria’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then what’s the occasion?”

Alex shrugged. “Wanted a drink.”

So Maria left him to it. Alex didn’t move for the next hour, his eyes only ever briefly straying from the mirror. She passed by twice to refresh his drinks but she didn’t try for small talk again.

Almost two hours after Alex showed up, Michael finally managed to get that fight he was itching for. There was a crash by the pool tables as cue stick hit the table and then a hush fell over the crowd. Maria didn’t even need to look up to see it. Next to her, her bartender held up the phone, silently asking if he should just go ahead and call the Sheriff. Maria nodded with a heavy sigh. She’d tried letting Michael handle it but it had gotten to the point that she needed the cops to step in if she had any hope of discouraging other people from thinking it was okay to fight in her bar.

She looked up at the first thud of a fist hitting flesh. Unsurprisingly, it was Michael’s mouth that came away bloody. For some reason, he never threw the first punch. 

Michael got one hit in before Alex stepped in between them. Maria hadn’t even seen him leave his stool. As the other guy tried to retaliate, Alex smoothly grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him as he pressed him against the table. He said something into the guy’s ear and waited until he nodded before releasing him. The guy stepped back, grabbed his girlfriend’s hand, and walked away with only one backwards glance. They hadn’t paid, but Maria decided to let it sly. She would put it on Michael’s tab, anyway.

With the man gone and the fight clearly over, most of her customers turned back to their drinks and ignored Michael. Maria couldn’t do that. When she looked over at him, she almost took a step back from the vehemence radiating off of him, even from across the room. Alex, stood right in front of him, didn’t even flinch. Maria was too far away to hear what they said to each other until, “Fuck off, Alex!” Michael suddenly yelled. A hush fell over the bar as everyone turned to stare at the two men. 

Alex stared at Michael, his body tense and his face stony, before he gave a sharp nod. Michael turned away in a huff when Alex relented. He downed his whiskey and punched the wall with his back to the rest of the bar as muffled chatter spread. Alex hadn’t moved right away, his eyes fixed on Michael’s back, before he glanced around. Maria wasn’t sure what he was looking for until suddenly he moved and scooped up Michael’s jacket. She watched as he checked the pockets and pulled out Michael’s keys and a flask. Seemingly satisfied with what he found, he gripped it tight and walked back over to the bar.

“Cover mine and Michael’s tab,” he handed her his credit card.

Maria took it slowly. “He hasn’t paid in a while, Alex.”

“I figured as much,” Alex replied easily. “I’ll cover it.” He nodded at the card.

She hesitated a moment longer before paying off both tabs and handing Alex the receipt and his card back. Alex glanced at the total and shook his head. “You should stop serving him.”

“Then he’ll just go somewhere else. At least here, I can keep an eye on him.”

“He’s barred from everywhere else,” Alex signed the receipt and handed it back as he tucked his card away. There was a crash and a curse from across the room. Maria looked up to see Michael’s glass in pieces on the ground as he shoved chairs around, clearly looking for something. “That’s my cue. Have a good night, Maria.” Alex gave her a small wave as he made his way to the door, Michael’s jacket still in his hand.

“Where the fu-,” Michael cursed as he looked up, his eyes catching immediately on Alex’s back as he disappeared outside. “Alex!” He stumbled his way after him, crashing into every table on the way out. 

Maria tried not to dwell on it as the door swung shut behind Michael. She had come to accept that she didn’t know a damn thing about their relationship and she definitely wasn’t going to get involved. 

\---

She was starting to feel like she was involved. Despite knowing better, she kept letting Michael into the Pony. He only paid maybe a third of the time (Alex kept covering his tab the other two-thirds so she didn’t worry too much about getting paid) and he kept getting into fights; he seemed to have a thing for picking up other guys’ girlfriends. The difference now is that Alex was there more nights than not. They never seemed to talk much but Alex kept getting in the way of Michael’s fights. Maria was afraid that Michael would just throw a punch at Alex one night when he stepped in between Michael and his latest foe but Michael never did. Even when he was midswing when Alex appeared, he always pulled the hit. 

“You can’t destroy yourself to keep him afloat,” Maria cautioned one night. It was late and Michael had been content to amuse himself with pretty strangers all night long. No one had risen to his bait for a fight and it seemed like Alex’s services weren’t going to be needed. But still he sat there. 

Alex raised his beer to his lips without a word.

“I’m serious, Alex,” she lowered her voice. “I know how much it’s hurting you to sit here and watch him like this but you keep doing it anyway. You don’t have to do this. He doesn’t want to be helped and putting yourself through hell trying to help him isn’t doing anyone any favors.”

Alex’s lips twisted in a mockery of a smile. “If anyone’s gonna destroy me, it might as well be him.” The words sounded wrong, like they were someone else’s first. 

Maria opened her mouth to reply when someone came up to Alex.

“If he doesn’t stop this bullshit soon, I don’t care if you get involved, I’m gonna deck him,” the man warned him with a glance back at Michael. Maria followed his gaze to see Michael bending a woman almost backwards over a table, his lips on her chest and wandering south via the low cut shirt she was wearing. 

Alex glanced at the mirror with a sigh before throwing back the rest of his beer. “Yeah, okay.” He left a bill on the counter for Maria and stood up, brushing past the other man and making his way over to Michael.

Before he even got there, Michael was straightening up, his attention now in safer territory as the woman was able to stand up. His shoulders were tense and he almost looked distracted, as if the woman wasn’t quite enough to hold his attention anymore. Maria thought it was odd; nothing had changed over in his little corner of the bar, nothing to take his attention away from-

Oh.

Michael’s shoulders were already turning towards Alex as he walked up, even though his face stayed buried in the woman’s neck. Realistically, there should be no way for Michael to know Alex was walking over but that didn’t seem to matter. He knew it anyway.

Alex walked up and grabbed Michael’s arm just under his shoulder and pulled him away from the woman with an apologetic smile to her. The man who had come up to Alex was right behind him and pulled the woman away, whisking her back to the group she had come in with. Michael’s lips turned up in a smirk as he spat at Alex, his words no doubt intended to cut. Alex’s shoulders tensed but otherwise he showed no reaction. When he didn’t get the fight he wanted from Alex, Michael yanked his arm away with enough force that he had to take several stumbling steps to try and get his balance back. Alex reached out and steadied him before stepping away, Michael’s keys suddenly in his hand. In what was becoming a usual sight, Michael stormed after Alex into the parking lot, the door crashing shut behind them. 

\---

“Call the Sheriff,” Maria ordered as she stepped out from behind the bar, her shotgun in her hands. In the six years she’d been running the place, she’d never had to use it, had only pulled it out twice, but tonight she was thankful for it. “And call Alex.”

Michael had finally found someone itching for a fight as bad as he was and he managed it on the one night Alex hadn’t showed up. It started as a few friendly bets over a game of pool and then darts. It escalated into shoves and a few punches when the tourists decided that Michael had cheated. It escalated further into guns being pulled out when Michael only grinned and winked at the accusation. 

“Hey!” She yelled as she got close, the shotgun hanging loose at her side. “Take it outside.”

One guy sneered at her as the other two stepped up around Michael, their guns in their hands and pointed at Michael. Irritatingly, Michael didn’t seem concerned in the slightest. “It’s okay, Maria,” he held a hand out towards her. “It’s all under control.”

“Give us our damn money back, you fucking cheat.”

Michael pretended to think about it for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, I’m good. I’ve got a tab I gotta pay off.”

The man with the guy pointed at Michael’s knee pulled the trigger. Maria flinched back a step, pulling the gun up only as an afterthought. Her attention was fixed on Michael, expecting to see blood. But Michael stood exactly where he was and grinned brightly. 

“What the fuck?” The man who’d shot swore. Maria understood his confusion. He was barely a foot away from Michael and he looked like he knew his way around a gun. There was no way he’d missed. And yet-

The man next to him tried again. And again, Michael was fine. Maria looked around him and saw the new holes in the floor at his feet. 

“Put down your weapons!” Maria had never been so happy to see Kyle’s mom in her life. She lowered the shotgun without a word and stepped back as the Sheriff and a new deputy leveled their weapons at the two shooters. The two men dropped the guns immediately, both still captivated by Michael’s apparent luck. 

As the two cops put away their weapons and moved to cuff the two shooters, Michael lunged forward. He had an arm cocked back to throw a punch and neither Sheriff Valenti or the new guy reacted in time to stop him.

His punch didn’t land. It didn’t even really get started. Alex came up behind him and wrapped an arm around his cocked back arm and grabbed Michael tight but the waist as he pulled him back. Michael struggled for a moment but Alex didn’t look too bothered as he dragged him away and shoved him out the back door. 

Maria didn’t even know Alex was in the building. She glanced at the Sheriff before following after them.

“-ck you, Alex!” Michael was yelling when she pushed the back door open. “Can you not mind your own fucking business?!”

“What the fuck do you think you were doing? Do you not get how monumentally stupid that was? How much danger you could be? How much danger  _ Isobel _ could be in right now?” Alex looked properly angry for the first time that Maria could remember in years. “What- what are you doing, Michael? What do you  _ want _ from all of this?”

Michael let out a sound that could almost be called a laugh if laughter was cruel. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

Alex shoved Michael back a step with two hands. “Get your shit together, Guerin.”

Michael shoved Alex in return only he pushed him all the way back against the wall. Maria took a step outside the door, ready to get involved if today was the day Michael finally took his anger out on Alex. But she seemed to worry for nothing as Michael crashed into Alex, his body flush against Alex’s, their lips meeting in a fierce battle as Alex tugged hard on Michael’s hair. Michael let out a sound Maria had never heard and pressed even closer to Alex as he grabbed his hips in a tight grip that almost gave Maria sympathy bruises. 

She let the door slam shut behind her when she went back inside. 

\---

The sign for Sanders’ Auto loomed large overhead and Maria almost turned around. Her truck was making noises it shouldn’t and Michael was the best mechanic in town but it was early and she wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with him, if he was even awake. When they’d dated, if you could even call it that, Michael hadn’t really shown his face before noon and when he did, he was grumpy and irritable from the hangover. It was only ten o’clock now. 

Maria bit the bullet and pulled around to Michael’s Airstream. She didn’t have time to come back later and she needed the car fixed. Michael could suck it up.

“Hey,” Michael called from the shaded workstation on her right as she got out of the car. Maria stared at him in shock. He looked...good. He looked like he’d actually slept the night before and had maybe even had a shower in the last couple of days. Also, he was up and working. That was good. Miles better than he’d been weeks before. “What brings you here?”

Maria waved a hand at the truck. “It’s making noises.”

Michael glanced at whatever he’d been working on. “You in a rush or can it wait until I’m done with this?”

She was in a little bit of a rush. “It can wait.”

Michael nodded and gestured to his trailer and the seats arranged in front of it. “Make yourself comfortable.”

So she did. Maria sat down gingerly in one of the lawn chairs, cautious as always that it might fall apart beneath her before realizing that the chairs had been replaced. They weren’t new but they were sturdy. Maria took them in, surprised that Michael would notice or take the time to replace them with everything going on with him right now. 

She sat there for a little over half an hour before another car pulled up. It was Alex.

He got out of his car with a bag of groceries in his hand. “Hey,” he greeted somewhat cautiously.

“Hey,” Maria returned. They’d gotten better with each other but they weren’t anywhere close to what they’d been before. She was sure seeing her sitting outside of Michael’s home relatively early in the day was not something he expected, or wanted, to see. “My truck’s making noises and I’m waiting for him to take a look at it.”

Alex glanced at the truck in question and then beyond it to where Michael was working on his other project. “You been waiting long?”

Maria shrugged. “I’m sure it won’t be much longer.”

Alex nodded and walked past her to the Airstream. He pulled the door open without pause and disappeared inside. Maria waited a moment before giving into the curiosity and following him in.

“Wow,” Maria gaped. “It looks nice in here.” And it did. Everything was put away, the bed was made, and it looked like someone had given it a much needed, thorough deep clean. 

“Thanks,” Alex muttered as he shook his head at the empty refrigerator. He quickly put away the groceries he’d brought before he started rooting through the cabinets.

“You cleaned up?”

Alex hummed in response. “I left him laying out on the ground by the lawn chairs one night and didn’t want to leave in case something happened so I cleaned instead.” He cursed as he pulled down an unopened bottle of whiskey. It made a loud thunk as he set it on the counter.

“Well it looks like he’s kept it clean.”

Alex scoffed. “He made it a mess the next day so I sicced Isobel on him. Since then it hasn’t been too bad.” He pulled another bottle of whiskey from the little cabinet behind the bed and a large flask from inside the shower. She watched as he took another look through the small space before he slipped past her to leave, the flask and both bottles in his hands.

Outside, Alex twisted open the two new bottles and started pouring them out onto the dirt. He got halfway before Michael noticed.

“Goddammit Alex!” He yelled as he ran over. His steps stuttered when he saw Maria but he didn’t falter. Michael grabbed Alex’s hands to try and save some of his whiskey but Alex didn’t budge. He met Michael’s glare with a hard look and kicked over the opened flask sitting on the ground, a clear liquid that smelled almost like nail polish remover spilling out. “I’m going to the store after work! Stop!”

Alex shook the bottles to get the last dregs out. “You had time to go buy more booze. Should’ve gone to the store then.” He capped the bottles and tossed them in the trash bin by the fire. “Food’s in your fridge, Liz is expecting you for lunch, and Isobel needs your help with something at Max’s house.” He pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and pressed it into Michael’s forehead. “Stop losing your fucking phone.”

Michael took his phone with a glare. “Aren’t you sick of this shit, yet?”

“I was sick of this shit the first fucking day.”

“Then leave! No one’s asking you to stay.” The words hung heavy in the air.

“I could do that,” Alex acknowledged. “But this has been so much fun I’ll just have to come back.” He glared at Michael. “Pony tonight?”

“Fuck you.”

“See you there then.” He nodded at Maria. “Maria.”

“Alex.”

Michael kicked the empty flask as Alex drove away.

“I don’t understand you two,” Maria admitted.

Michael laughed. “Join the club.”

\---

It was three more months of Michael’s cycle of self destruction and he seemed to be getting better. Or at least, he was doing better at the Pony. Alex had broken up enough fights by now that most people didn’t bother rising to Michael’s bait and Michael had to be content with filling his time with flirting and anonymous sex. Of which he had a lot.

Maria had legitimately lost track of the number of times Michael had disappeared out the back door with someone only to reappear with his clothes and hair askew and a self assured smirk on his face. Alex was still there every night. And every single time Michael came back in he’d look straight at Alex.

“Alex,” Maria tried for the umpteenth time. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” Alex sighed. He’d stopped getting angry around the twentieth time she’d brought it up. “But I can’t walk away again.”

“It’s not walking away and it’s not abandoning him if he’s pushing you away with two hands as hard as he can.” Maria itched to grab his hand but Alex was still reserved with her. “At some point, you’ve gotta let him go. He needs to be able to deal with his shit on his own, you can’t hold his hand the whole time.” Alex didn’t bother answering. “What about that guy you were seeing? With the hair?” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “What about him?”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“That depends on your definition of seeing him, I guess.” 

“You deserve to be happy, Alex.” Maria looked over at Michael. “And this? Whatever is going on with Guerin? It’s making you miserable.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matt-”

“I’m leaving Roswell,” Alex cut her off.

Maria stared at him. “What? Why?”

“New posting.”

“I thought you were getting out?”

“I re-upped,” Alex shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “I thought I’d get to stay in Roswell a while longer but I have to report to my new posting in three days.”

“Three days?!” Maria gasped. “How long have you been sitting on this?”

“Found out two days ago,” Alex shrugged. “They have an immediate need for a codebreaker and I’m the best one up for relocation so…”

Maria couldn’t help but look over at Michael. “Does he know?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Yes. But let’s just say I’m not looking forward to that conversation.” Alex drained his beer.

“Alex, why would you re-up? I thought you were done with the Air Force?”

He shrugged again as he stood up. “What else would I do?”

“Alex-”

He reached across the bar and pulled her into a hug. “I’ve gotta leave early on Thursday and I have a lot of things to do tomorrow so I won’t get to see you before I go.” He tried to release her but Maria clung tighter. “I’ve got your number, Maria.”

“Use it,” she urged. “And don’t be a stranger. You’ve always got a home here, Alex. Don’t forget that.”

He gave her a sad smile as he pulled away. “Thank you.”

For the first time in months, Alex left the bar before Michael without ever talking to him. It took Michael ten minutes to notice and another five to follow, his latest catch abandoned without a thought. 

Alex left on Thursday. Maria didn’t get to see him go.

Michael left on Monday. Maria only realized he’d left when he posted a picture on his rarely used Instagram of the sign to Alex’s new base.


End file.
